| (no subject) |
[Apr. 6th, 2007|11:21 am] |
my sister is planning on going to FSU!!! im so proud of her. i wish i put more effort into where i went to college. shes going to have the time of her life down in florida. i want to move down there and restart college all over again haha.
i wish i hadnt chosen emmanuel. even though i did do really well and got to go to australia, i just sometimes feel like i missed out on something. i just hated emmanuel. i really did. i should have transferred after freshman year like i wanted to. oh well, i guess its good because im graduating in the top 20% of the management students and am getting an extra rope or whatever, so thats good. and who woulda thunk that kate sullivan would graduate with a 3.7. i mean, after all those dumb kate jokes, i actually did better than most people in the tritown, and can you believe it, FINISHED ON TIME. sooo screw you all who didnt think i could make it in the city. ha.
i just wish it was a warmer city lol. and more guys so i wouldnt be stuck living in the tritown with a psuedo crush on someone i dont even really like that much i just have nothing better to do with my time so i spend it on him. what a waste.
just gotta keep focused. i was planning on applying to meditech, but it sounds like KP continued up there so i dont think i will be. i guess we will see. i probably will because its close to home and i can save up some money. i dunno.
i kind of want to work for like 2 years, save up some money and then just travel, or do something, live somewhere far far away. australia. i miss it so bad. i just miss the people. i have turned into a masshole again. it sucks because i think this place is the greatest place to live again but really its not but i still can't seem to get myself to think that.
do you ever feel that you dont want to be where you are but you dont want to be anywhere else either?
IM STUCK. |
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| lyrics, and that is alll |
[Mar. 28th, 2007|09:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Camera Obscura "if looks could kill" | ] |
Tell me where it all went wrong
Maybe I can make it better
Tell me where it all went wrong
Don’t you know that you really upset her
When you act like a man who is cross with every woman he’s never had
If it’s true looks could kill and you will be the first to make me mad
Then you’ll have to go
Is this the kind of fate you could contemplate
A breakdown at my very sight
I promise hidden words of tenderness in every single line that I write
Still you act like a man who is cross with every woman he’s never had
If it’s true looks could kill and you will be the first to make me mad
Then you’ll have to go
Maybe you’ll have to go
Is it true looks can kill
Is it true looks can kill
Is it true looks can kill |
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| FUCK THE PILL |
[Mar. 21st, 2007|02:43 pm] |
ok fuck birth control pills I HATE THEM
i feel like im always on or off them randomly. but this time im done.
all they do is make me feel ridiculously depressed and make me gain like 81743-928503985304982349082340923852310985324908723409823409823742310984230985345987315-94375-1983573-849723-984231-597234-83274983457430985732084732-7423487230985723 pounds.
and who likes a sad fat chick? NOT ME.
i still have like 2 weeks left, and im pretty sure you have to finish off the pack, and not just like randomly go off them...does anyone know?
cuz like i just want to start losing the weight that i gained since i've been on it. i have literally gained like 7 pounds. and since im already pretty effing chubby, that just pushed me over the edge to FAT.
eck. i wish you could have a body flat iron. like i flat iron my hair so its stick thin, can't i just do that to my arms legs and belly??? |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 18th, 2007|11:27 am] |
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i am in the middle of a quarter life crisis. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 15th, 2007|07:52 am] |
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HI LISA!!!! have a good day!!! :) haha |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 2nd, 2007|09:58 am] |
im on spring break. but i still have a busy week
i have monday and wednesday off. which is nice
but i still have to go to my internship tuesday and thursday, ugh.
friday night im working and saturday im working also
so ill just be chillin and do nothing other than internship.
i dont want to even see people from home. well just my friends and no one else.
i get so mad at people here. i really hate when i ask people to go out or hang out and EVERYONES reply is "well who else is going to be there" like what? are you too A-List to hang out with certain people? let me break the news to you people YOUR SUBURBANITE MIDDLE CLASS COLLEGE STUDENTS. you can hang out with anyone, all you have to talk about is the last fucking time you got wasted or how you dated me in 5th grade or whatever it is the hell people get drunk and talk about. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. im so fucking sick of people saying that to me.
literally someone immed me this morning and said "hey im home from school maybe we can hang out" then their next im was "if you can get a group of girls to come" FUCK YOU. its such an insult, like im not good enough to just hang out with you.
annoying. im thinking i will just stay in so i dont have to deal with crap like that.
well i have to get to cleaning my cave of a bedroom and then get ready for the gym so i can go straight after my eye appointment. joooy. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 24th, 2007|09:53 am] |
i deserve better.
oh well.
i feel like shit. my throat is killing me. im cranky and tired and all i want to do is sleep. and my nose is stuffed up.
i've been focusing on entirely the wrong things this semester. i need to start working hard and getting my shit done and stop thinking about boys, im wasting so much time. i want to finish this year with a bang. 4.0. Its almost do-able, just strategic. Lets see how it goes!
i just need to focus |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2007|09:06 pm] |
im a little sad. i thought maybe they'd be mad. im not even sure if they are. i've made out with someone new practically every weekend lately. i shouldnt be so attatched. i think im just ready for intimacy. im in dire need for it. and also to get the fuck out of my house. ugh.
watching heroes... |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 8th, 2007|07:36 am] |
i decided to cut my losses. i read thru my last blog and just reading it shows me i should not be with that person. deal with a little upsetness now, instead of a ton later. because we all know it wont end well.
...now the big question is, shall i ignore the person forever, or call and let him know my decision. i'll most likely call, i dont want to be a dick....
off to harpoon for the day, then back here to SLEEP. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 7th, 2007|04:51 pm] |
guys are so silly. uugh. like i had no intentions of push push pushing. and i didnt. all i said was oh i am clinging i will talk to you later. and this causes a ruckus of events leading to me looking like this complete like psycho girl who wants a boyfriend. but i dont. i mean i could do it, i think. but i dont even want that how did this happen? like i've made out with a few people, gave my number out, and been talking on the phone/texting/emailing other guys since we started hanging out. theres no chance in hell that i've been sitting around waiiiting for this person but somehow it seems like i am. like hes a good kid but jesus.
so i read this book "who moved my cheese" and its about dealing with change. so you have to like sniff out change, react to it, and scurry along to find a new cheese. it says to change your behavior.
so i dont knwo what to do then. because normally i would like flip out and delete the person out ofmy life. he basically said "well if the chance arises for me to have sex with someone else...." you fill it in. so i mean, i dont know.
i think what i should do is be clear headed. im never clear headed. i have to accept what this person has told me. because its not going to change. and either deal with it, or let the kid go. i have accepted this reaction and dealt with it before in the past, and it always ends badly. i wonder what i should do then. accept it and change my actions compared to what i normally do by accepting this situation or just cut my losses and be done with it now.
guh i wasnt planning on thinking this thru but now i have to. my brain hurts. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 22nd, 2007|11:13 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | in bed. | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | manic | ] |
that movie blood and chocolate looks stupid.
i like a boy but im coming on too strong.
this song should be about me...
She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child, but she's always a woman to me
She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth, but she'll never believe
And she'll take what you give her as long it's free
Yeah, She steals like a thief, but she's always a woman to me
Ohhh... she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants, she's ahead of her time
Ohhh... and she never gives out
And she never gives in, she just changes her mind
And she'll promise you more than the garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding
But she’ll bring out the best and the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself 'cause she's always a woman to me
She's frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool
And she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you,
But she's always a woman to me
oh billy joel. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 19th, 2007|06:02 pm] |
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also. i am boy crazy. i wish i wasnt. but i am. that would be a good thing to stop being. i am very scary sometimes. i guess that evan thing isnt going to work out. we'll see. its my turn to call but i dont know when he gets back from skiing. also, i dont want to tell him im in boston on saturday cuz im goin out with the girls and then on tuesday ill be in boston, but im goin out with the girls again..maybe monday? i dont know this guy is weird anyway and too old for me. and probably just going to be an asshole just like everyone else... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 19th, 2007|05:58 pm] |
my mom is driving me fucking nuts. i hate when she takes out her computer. shes so dumb about it. you explain shit to her and she then flips out and is like WHY WONT YOU JUST TEACH ME and its like hellooo i just did. i dont have the patience for it today im cranky and i can't deal with her idiocracy.
she wants to delete songs off the ipod from the computer. so i tell her, you have to go into your ipod, not a playlist. and i go into the ipod for her. then i say. you have to highlight the songs by clickin on them and then you press delete. WHAT WELL WHERES DELETE??!!! umm on your keyboard. and then she starts flipping out on me because she realizes that she went BACK into her playlist and was deleting songs off a playlist instead of her ipod which i had clearly explained earlier.
fucking bipolar. i can't even take it. uuugh. she doesnt listen when i explain it and then flips out on me. so when i tell her to figure it outherself cuz shes going bananas on me she gets even more mad. GET ME OUT OF THIS GOD DAMNED HOUSE. crazy bitches. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 14th, 2007|01:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | the big blue couch | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "boston" augustana | ] |
i forget who said this but they are pretty right...
the way to get over one person is to get under another. haha. true for me. actually now i have two crushes instead of one. balanced life, eh? it'll be fun. i was thinking about moving into boston to ang ash and jenni's place, but i probably wont. i want to but i dont want to ask my parents for the money and i dont want to take out a loan. sooo im stuck.the commute is going to blow but now i guess it will be alright because people are home. and i travel to other places alot. and last semester was pretty good. anyway im 21 now. so it will be fiiine. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 29th, 2006|08:11 pm] |
im so depressed. i hate living at home. i hate fall right before winter. its like you know the long cold winter is looming and its just not going to be a fun one. my family is driving me absolutely bonkers. granted, im glad i dont live in the palace and have to deal with like anthony cuz that would suck, but i guess every living situation has its faults. its just that like today i could have gone home at 2:30 but i had to sit around til like 530 so i could meet with stephen. yea its a group project but i just wasnt in the mood and i was cranky.
i think im like this because my life is so monotonous. its like monday wednesday friday, school and daycare. tuesday and thursday, babysit. weekends are fun, but in the back of my mind i know its like back to the grindstone where i go to classes i dont like and work that i hate. i dont mind the day care. its just babysitting. I love baby mia, and isabel is kind of growing on me because now she knows i dont put up with the crap she gives to her parents so she doesnt have as many tantrums. but the mom is just ridiculous. i can't stand her and i just want to quit so bad. but she like makes me feel guilty. shes like well i told you in the beginning i wanted you for a full year and i told her that i would try but there are no promises.
and now my parents want me to go for some internship my dad's friend wants. you know scott brown? i think hes like our senator or something. anyway, well he need an intern and asked my dad if i wanted to do it and i dont know shit about government. like id be working on beacon hill. but helloooo i dont even know who our senator is. i know nothing about the government. guh. plus i basically accepted the Harpoon one. I suppose it wouldnt do much harm to look. if that beacon hill one is paid. i dont know. its just annoying because i say no to my mom and she just bitches at me til i agree. its like umm im 21 years old and you still think you control me. its all about control. i hate it.
anyway i guess its not a real problem. my life is easy compared to most. i have food shelter clothes peopel who love me etc. some people dont even have that. so i should stop complaining. im just bored i guess. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 25th, 2006|10:14 am] |
ok so i never update.
last night i got waayhayhayhaysted. i think it happened in between hugging kevin and talking to doma. yesterday i hung out with rosa for a bit, that was nice we just did nothing and were ourselves. boooring but its fine. watched a little sex in the city. then mander and i went to BBC i took shots before i got there in the car haha. saw sooo many kids. random joanne caffrey and like kaitlyn hawkins and random kids. i still think jim monahan is cute even if he has some monkeyish traits haha. i didnt even talk to him i went to go finally say hi and i ended up running straight into doma.we talked and i finally found out that he doesnt hate me after all so thats good. i was so drunk when i got home i myspace messaged him. so strange. ok i can't do this live journal thing im hungover. goodbye.
i want a tuna sandwhich. is that normal? i dont even know i think i need more sleep. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 2nd, 2006|11:41 am] |
154. good job pounds. keep leaving.
alli gotta do is STOP EATING HALLOWEEN CANDYYY. haha.
ok so i think 140 is DEFINATELY doable by xmas.
heres my goal 149 by nov 18th.
140 by new years.
GO KATE. flat abs are in your future.. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 17th, 2006|12:20 am] |
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FAJWEOPFIJASDV OADVDNVAPSODIFHAWPEORUIDGNAOGSDAPFOISDNVAOIEURWEORYIDGNASFKSDAOPRUWERP98SDHVPVJNASPDFOHSDNVSAPOERU
and thats what i have to say about you. so don't be a douchebag. why the shittaki do you say ya ya lets hang out come see me. when your seeing someone. drunkard. stupid poop. why did i even call what an idiot i am, havent i learned my lesson i mean, its been what like almost 2 years.
i gotta get it thru my noggin.
delete. delete. delete.
...seriously though. im getting sick of all these people getting married and having boyfriends. i need a surplus of men. i need choices people CHOICES. i have none living in this town.
ok now i just sound like a losery depressed bridesmaid. im done. |
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